39 weeks- Happy Birthday Reese!

My little Reese Blackwell will be born tonight making today her BIRTHDAY on April 4th, 2011! 

So HOORAY for this being the last day of being pregnant!!!

39 weeks and 1 day!

I have been walking walking walking ALL weekend long. I was bound and determined to get some action going so at the very least I could dilate so I could have my membranes striped at today's Doctors appointment. I walked so much that by Sunday I could barley get out of bed my back was in so much pain! I cried several times just feeling so depressed because my back hurt and I just wanted my baby to get here. 

What Happened:

 I went to see the Doctor today and NOTHING had changed from last week, STILL NOT DILATED and no more effaced! I had to consider my reality, This is my second baby and there should be more progress unless there was a problem like the umbilical cord was wrapped around something or the fact that I have a small pelvis and my children have large heads (which was a concern from the beginning) could all be HUGE factors to why I wouldn't be able to deliver vaginally. But I always said I would go with what I felt was right and I would listen to my body more then what I wanted. After leaving the Doctors I just felt so much more at peace and relaxed about having the c-section which I was planning on scheduling for Friday anyways. Then I called my mom, who had me talk to her friend who has been a labor and delivery nurse for 15+ years, she told me what she thought from her experience would be the best thing and the reality of what was going on with my body. My Doctor had told me I could schedule at any time after Sunday so I knew that if I was going to do the c-section the sooner the better. Brandon and I talked about it and both felt like it was the right thing. I know that I can't have any regrets because I gave myself the chance and even though I still have 6 days left till my due date, I just know that this will be best for Reese and I. Irey was two weeks early and tiny little thing and they had a really difficult time getting her out via c-section so I just didn't want to push it with Reese.

The plan: 

After calling my Doctor's office to tell them what I was thinking they called me back at 11:40am to tell me I was on the schedule for tonight at 8. They also said don't eat for the next 8 hours... well since it was 11:40 am I had 20 min. to eat something! I haven't eaten since 7:30 this morning, there was NO WAY I was going to wait so I took full advantage of my 20 min and went to Wendy's and enjoyed me the biggest burger with lots of fries and nice chilled Diet Coke. I gotta say the burger wasn't as satisfying as I hoped it would be (I should have gone with the chicken sandwich but it seemed weak, haha)... but at least I went all out!

 My "last meal"

We have to check into the hospital by 6 and then by 8 tonight (or sometime shortly after) I will be looking into the eyes of my little girl!

My Feelings:

 I am on a roller coaster of emotion. It's hard to swallow that I am just always going to have c-sections. I will never get to experience what's it like to have my water break or to be in labor or to push my baby out. To some people they could not understand why it's a big deal, but to me it's how I always envisioned it and for a lot of reasons it's how I wish it could be. There are a lot of things I HATE about c-sections. Like the fact you barley get to see your baby after she is born, they tease you with a little peek and then send her with your husband off to the nursery and then your left in a room all by yourself recovering. I hated the feeling of wanting to be with my new little family and being all alone while everyone is looking at your baby that you can't see! It's not like it's a long time or anything but heck after all you go through with pregnancy ALL you want to do is hold your baby close! But there will be positives to having c-sections as well. I am a big planner and so from here on out I will get to plan plan plan my little heart out... there wont be much surprises with a scheduled c-section. I also know what to expect this time around so the fear of not knowing whats going on wont be a factor!

Over all, who the hell cares about any of it!? I get to hold my baby tonight. I get to count her fingers and toes and kiss her little face. I get to see if she has hair or eyelashes like Irey did. We get to see who won that march madness bets, lol!

Most importantly I get to have one more little spirit bless my family and I get to hold my little girl who moments ago was leaving my Heavenly Father side as well as my sweet little Carsons, grandma Virginias, and many other people we love who have passed away. I get to be with a angel tonight so no matter what I am going to focus on that and not worry about all the other stuff, because in the end it isn't all that important!

So happy birthday to my little Reese. I am anxious to meet you!