The Glory of Motherhood

With Mother's day coming up it has got me thinking about being a mom. This is my second Mother's day and it's amazing to think how much my little girl has grown up in one short year. Last year mother's day was my due date with Irelyn but she was born two weeks early. At that point everything was so new I didn't really feel like this day was for me. This year I feel like I earned it!



Today as I was heading to my car from lunch with the girls, this elderly couple was walking out at the same time. The older woman said, "Oh let me grab the door for you sweetie." and as I passed by she said to her husband, "She really has her hands full." It was so true, my one arm was holding Irey on my hip who was trying to wiggle free and the other arm had a diaper bag and my purse falling off my shoulder, straining to not drop anything as well as carrying my drink (because who could go with out that?). I kinda laughed to myself thinking, this is motherhood, isn't it glamorous? I think of all the things we do as moms and it makes me laugh. I think of our skill requirement to be prepared for anything because at any given moment they will freak out because they are tired or hungry and it is always at the most public inconvenient time (the mall, target, DMV, etc.). So diaper bag always includes a couple of; favorite books, toys, treats, and yes a couple they get sick of one thing after a few seconds and move on. Diapers and wipes are a staple as well as butt cream for the constant diaper rash, IB prophen for the all the sudden I am teething and mad at the world or I fell and hit my head and now have a goose egg that takes over my face! Its the same drill, get in the car buckle up baby, put treats in the treat tray, have blanky in arms reach, make sure the straps are tight but not too tight. Your skills become impressive in driving while one hand is literally behind your back trying to grab the bottle, toy, treat, or whatever to STOP the crying. You always have to be one step ahead of their unpredictable minds while running a home and managing a family. As if just keeping them alive isn't enough of a task, what with constantly being on guard for potential dangers that your child can inflict upon themselves, you have to be a educator. It's no longer ok for your kid to go to pre-school with out know the whole alphabet (isn't that why we send them?) No they have to know EVERYTHING before they go so they are the smartest in their class. Then there is the guilt. The guilt comes when you get those few moments that are rare, when you actually can think in silence. In those moments you begin to think; my house is never clean enough, I need to be more organized, I should do more service, Do I read to my baby enough, am I playing with her enough, is she too spoiled, is she too neglected, am I a good mom? It's in those moments when all you need is for someone to; look past the disgruntled hair and make-up, the stretch marks from pregnancy, and the looks that says, "I had a long day" and say your a beautiful woman and a wonderful mother, Thank you for all you do (Thanks Brandon for being so awesome at this!!!). Hence, Mother's day.

Thinking about all this as a mother of course makes me think of my mother. She raised five kids and worked full time and sometimes overtime. I spent a lot of time as a kid mad at her that she wasn't at PTA things and was too tired and overwhelmed to chat with me. As a mother I am so humbled and feel so guilty for not looking past the things I felt like she didn't do to notice the things she DID do on top of all she already HAD to do. She would show her love and affection for us in ways I didn't understand until now that I am a mom. The laundry was always done to perfection and folded neat nice and orderly. We always got EVERYTHING we wanted for Christmas and more, wrapped in the most beautiful paper that she spent hours wrapping and tying ribbon. She never wanted us to go with out (hence the full time job). She would put us in dance or voice, whatever we wanted to do, and came to all our performances and cheering us on.

I remember her taking me to a audition for the Timpanogos Story Telling festival and afterward she couldn't stop telling me and everyone else she talked to how great I did and again when I made it. And when the big day came we were running late and then we couldn't find the place. Once we got there the people in charge hurried me off to the stage I was suppose to be at and I left my family behind. When I saw my mom next I noticed she had been crying (which she most rarely does) I asked her why she was so upset and she said she was so afraid she was going to miss it. And when I was done and I totally choked, she hugged me and told me I did awesome and made me forget that I sucked. Coming from her it ment the world! When it comes to birthdays, she is the best. She will do whatever she can to make sure its special and memorable. She was the one doing all the stuff we didn't see that made our house run smoothly. She cheered me on through the best and the worst times of my life. She is the person I want to call when I had a good or bad day. She made my wedding the most amazing day of my life. She held my hand when I was most scared to have my daughter. She has been a great mom and one of the best friends I could have ever asked for. Although we had our hard times as moms and daughters sometimes do we fought for the relationship we have and I am so glad because I would be lost with out her. I have needed her more in these last few years then ever and she has always been there.

Mom Happy Mother's Day, I sure love you!