Just When You Have Had Enough...

Your baby finds a way to make you smile and the stress melt away...

I am sure a lot of you are wondering what is going on with us Blackwells. We are selling furniture and our condo and if you catch me at a bad time, my daughter as well! Ok just kidding I would miss her too much...

In case anyone was wondering we have decided to sell our condo. This was a hard to decision to come by and it is SO bitter sweet. Due to more reasons then I have energy to list, we have to sell it if we are ever going to get into a house. To make matters worse we HAVE to sell it before October, that would take even MORE energy to explain. Because of our situation we can't list it with a agent and have to sell it on our own (heaven help us). So I made a blog, kandbcondo.blogspot.com, and have listed it on everything I can, as well as putting signs everywhere. So my anxiety is at a all time peak!

Not to mention the biggest stress case of it all is that we FINALLY scheduled Irey's surgery!!! This has been a battle. We have been working with Dr. Downey for almost two years getting all the information we can on CCAM and trying to figure out our best options. In June we decided with out a doubt that surgery was going to be the best thing. I have been trying to schedule with Dr. Downey since the end of June. But I couldn't make a appointment with him? After a LOT of unanswered questions (concerning hu?) we were refered to another doctor that comes highly recomended. Stress, stress, stress! I meet with him this Thursday to discuss what we are going to do. But as of right now we are set for September 9th. SCARY! I am needless to say, worried sick.

It has been so hard to watch her get sedated and have scans done. Granted she had some unusual reaction to sedation making it the WORST experience ever. I know it wont be THAT BAD again. But this is my baby and they are taking half her lung... it keeps me up at night. Don't get me wrong I know it's the right thing to do, I just need to muster up some courage!

Speaking of being up all night... I have been feeling like I am on overload. Irey's surgery and selling our condo not to mention keeping up with everyday life that is already a challenge. Tonight Irelyn is throwing up everywhere. (P.S. Jamie watch out for your cute kids and cute self because, I being the mean sister I am, exposed you poor souls to this. Sorry in advance!) Irelyn has been up crying and wanting me to hold her and then not wanting me to hold her and then mad when she realizes she wants me to hold her again. For the last three hours I have been trying to comfort her and clean up throw up and I am so tired because I worked ALL day and it feel like this is just never going to end!!!

I feel the edge creeping closer, the edge of my insanity where I tip over and cry in a endless fit like my daughter!

Well I was switching around laundry and had to put Irey down to do this... to my surprise she wasn't crying! She found the laundry basket, climbed in, and was having the time of her life throwing clothes around. Then while the washer was on spin cycle I put the basket, with her in it, on top and she was giggling she was SO excited. I am thinking to myself, yep 1 AM, I have lost my mind!

As I started laughing along with her (because everything is funny at 1 AM) I realize that kids, although they can take you to the edge they are sometimes the best thing to bring you back. I could feel the stress and anxiety melting away and the comfort of just knowing, it will all be OK. No matter what happens I have my cute little family. More then that I have a Eternal Family and that is all I need in my life. Heavenly Father knew what he was doing when he sent me that little girl. She keeps me grounded and reminds me of what is real and important in life. She make my saddest days happy, even when she isn't feeling her best either. It was just a dumb silly moment but because Irey has this amazing gift to pull a smile right out of you that makes you feel good, life can never be too much to handle. Maybe it's the lack of sleep/ oxygen to my brain but I just can't believe how lucky I am. Life has it's storms but Brandon and Irey are all I need to making through!