The Things Only a Woman Would Understand

Dontcha feel like sometimes, even if you broke down your day minuet by minuet, explaining all you go through to you husband he STILL wouldn't understand. Not that he isn't compassionate or caring or that he doesn't want to understand, it's just that some things only a woman would understand...

I love my life as a wife and mother. The second I married that man, I knew my life was starting. The moment I held the beautiful little girl in my arms, I knew I was sent to this earth for the soul purpose to be a mom. I am grateful for the opportunity and I wouldn't change a thing. But that just doesn't mean that life as I know it is rainbows and butterflies. Life as a wife and mom is more then words could give justice to...

I feel like my each and every day is crossing off one more thing on the "To Do List". Not that it's a bad thing, but sometimes can be mundane. I feel like I start my day by unloading and loading the dishwasher and end it the same way. I feel like I spend my mornings cooking breakfast and then cleaning it and then the evenings cooking dinner and then cleaning that up. The in between of the day is more complex then anyone who hasn't lived it could ever understand. Do they KNOW what it is like to grocery shop with a screaming toddler on your hip, who refuses to sit in the cart or she will jump herself into a concussion and refuses to walk or she will hold my leg screaming as if I will leave her. So, grocery shopping with the screaming toddler on my hip, back in massive pain due to the other little girl who sits way to low in my tummy for comfort, trying to buy what is on my list and finding the best value, while trying to stay on budget, while trying not to look the least bit frazzled while people stare as if they have never seen a two-year-old in Utah County throw a royal fit! To be fair, this was just Monday, not everyday, and normally Irey likes Walmart, she just didn't like that I wouldn't let her bring in her doll, stroller, bear, 3 purses, and blanky into the store. I should have let her win that one now that I look back on it.

I don't think, unless you lived it, someone could ever understand the frustration that every single time you clean up a mess another one is being made. That when your trying to put the dishes away, some little person will spill their juice, while your cleaning up the juice saying to yourself, it's just juice on the floors you JUST mopped last night, dont get mad, dont get mad! She will pee her pants leaving you with another mess on your once clean floors that makes you gag because your pregnant and sensitive. While the pee mess is being sanitized you think about writing a letter to Nick Jr. to tell them THANK YOU for Dora the Explorer who, for 20 minuets, puts a stop to the madness and distracts my child!

OH, Laundry Day! It's like a black day in your week. Only because the 7 days in between Laundry Day seem to go by in a blink and yet it seems like a months worth of clothes are stacked up, staring you down, wanting you just to quit while your ahead. The second you allow yourself the satisfaction of knowing, every bit of clothing in this house is clean, folded, AND put away (the put away part it the WORST for me) and the task only took you all day because your husband goes through more socks and clothes then you can ever understand why and your sweet two year old like to "help" mom fold. A few days later you walk into the laundry room (a room I like to avoid except on that black day of the week) wondering how it's possible so many clothes are stacked back up in a pile! And on busy weeks, it takes all of the 7 days to get the clothes folded and put away. Sometimes you feel like your just never stop doing the dang laundry!

There is a urgency you feel when it's bed time but still trying to gather up the patience to read one more story and sing one more song when you really just want to say, Go TO BED!!! Some days are just so challenging and you just hope and pray your a better mom tomorrow and that this isn't one of the days your child will remember when they are a adult! It's the efforts you make to ensure that they had the best day, that it was filled with fun and adventure, and you hope that they can relive some of those best childhood memories you had, only better! You pray that even though some days they may have had to sit on time out a time or too or get a spanking for coloring with marker all over EVERYTHING, you still more then anything want them to know and understand that you love them and think they are so smart and so special. Sometimes you can't help but feel overwhelmed that you didn't hug them enough or show them enough patience or build them up enough!

There is just never the peace of mind because something is always going to be left undone. There will always be that room you should organize or that stuff your should throw out, the beds you could be making, or the service you could be doing for others. I could always read more to Irey or be a nice mom and sing just one more song that she begs for every night. I could turn on Dora less and take walks more. I could do more for my husband to show him I am really really grateful for the MANY hours he works and the love and energy he puts into this family. I could make a treat and take it to a friend. I could say my prayers more heartfelt.

In the end when I feel the weight of what a wife and mother carries and the tears brim my eyes, just because I am tired and pregnant and we just get like that sometimes, and my sweet husband keeps asking, What's wrong? It's more then I could really say. Nothing is wrong, everything is as it should be and I wouldn't change a thing. It's just that sometimes you just want, so badly, to be understood!

It's the things that you never understood your mom went through and now as a mother you realize, wow, my mom loved me this much?! And you instantly feel so forgiving and grateful. It's as a wife thinking that your are always doing, doing, doing for you husband and then one day you get off your high horse and realize he is doing just as much and probably isn't even complaining about it. There is nothing about any of these tasks or things that are ruining your life or taking away your happiness, it's just that sometimes you want to relate and feel understood. Finding the peace of mind that your not alone and, yea, I feel the same way too. It's a ooh good, you feel the same way too, after you talk to your sister for a hour about the craziness of your life and she can relate on all counts! It's just all the thing I want to cry about to my husband but can't because I feel like I would be complaining and he still wouldn't really get it. Oh, but to a woman, it's just the things that you live through too everyday and so when I say all these things, I know no one thinks I am crazy, we all just feel good to know that someone gets it!

And lets face it, it's the back breaking work you do for your family that makes you love them so dang much. It's the knowledge that they absolutely couldn't survive with out you, and that your are forever needed, more then they may even know. It's the smile you get on your face when you little girl says to you, "Thanks for dinner mom, it's really great." she never gets a meal from me with out saying thank you. It's the tear you get in your eye when you hear your husband pray for you and thank his Heavenly Father for you. You know he really means it if he says it to him. It's the gush of love you feel when it's time for bed but your family is having too much fun laughing together and playing around that you know tonight is going to be one you think of fondly when your older. It's crawling into your little kids bed and holding them so tight because your could never stand the thought of losing them. Even just knowing they are growing up is enough to make you stop what your doing and just really look and them and savor every ounce of this stage.  It's the moments in the day that you smile and light up inside because you just feel it ten times over again that your married to your best friend and better half and you wonder just how you got so lucky.

Yea, it's going through to mundane motions of everyday life that get you to those sweet moments that you savor. It's the things that you do everyday that make your husband come home and love you even more every day even though the longer your married the less you put into your everyday appearance. And it's the sacrifice you give of your mind, body, and soul that makes your kids miss you when your gone, hug you so tight when you get home. It's that kind of God-like love that makes your big and tough sons choke up when they talk about their moms and makes your daughters cry when they become moms themselves and start to learn what your love is really about.

I am going to try my very best to remember that these things that drive me crazy are the things that I will look back on and love most about my life! I am going to remember to be grateful and when I feel overwhelmed, know that I am not alone, because I there are many of you out there who are doing the same thing!